Got a problem with your Amiga? Write to me, Wally Dug, in confidence and I will help you out

Virus Problem

Dear Wally

I recently bought WD's Virus Checker for £20 from your public domain library.

The problem is that every time I insert this disk into my computer, it Gurus. Please help as I am now scared to put any other disks into my drive.

Yours, Worried of Worksop

Dear Worried

I am afraid that WD's Virus Checker has detected a virus in your computer. However, do not despair.

Simply return WD's Virus Checker, together with a cheque for £30 to Wally Dug's PDL and I will send you WD's Virus Killer which will solve your problems. I am glad that you have not put any disks into the drive as this may spoil the scam, er, scum.

GFX, SFX

Dear Wally

Please, please, please help me. Every time I switch on my computer, I keep seeing blocky, colourless graphics and hearing inferior sound. What shall I do? My Atari ST is only three months' old.

Yours, Angst-Ridden of Axminster

Dear Angst-Ridden

Buy an Amiga.

Memory Marvel

Dear Wally

Every time I multitask my unexpanded Amiga A500 with my desk-top publisher, ray tracer and word processor, I pay a visit to the Guru. What can I do?

Yours, Harrowed of Harrow

Dear Harrowed

How on earth can you be so stupid? What is the point in running a desk-top publishing program and word processor at the same time? You should be running a paint program to allow you to touch-up your ray traced images before importing them to the desk-top publisher.

Build-It Bodge-Up

Dear Wally

I followed the instructions of your Build-It! feature "Life, The Universe and Nuclear Fusion in the Back Bedroom for 42p" to the letter, but I cannot achieve nuclear fusion on my A500. Where have I gone wrong?

Yours, Inquisitive of Ingliston

Dear Inquisitive

A500? A500!!! This Build-It! feature was for the A500+. I'm not surprised it doesn't work! OK, I admit that the feature mentioned the A500 throughout, but this is hardly my fault, is it?

Beginner's Plea

Dear Wally

I am new to the Amiga and am completely lost. Is there a book you would recommend for the complete novice? I am writing to you as you promise anonymity and good sense.

Yours, Confused Christopher Conway, 14C Christ Close, Conwy

Dear Confused

Rest assured. The best book for the complete novice is WD's Beginners Book to the Amiga - How Not to Get Ripped-Off and is available from Wally Dug's PDL, priced just £39.95.

This book won't confuse you with technical jargon about AmigaDOS, whether it be through the CLI or GUI.

Four-Wheel RAM-Drive

Dear Wally

After glancing through my Workbench manual, I kept coming across something called a "RAM-Drive". What is it and is it any good?

Yours, Curious of Colchester

Dear Curious

The RAM-Drive is a great "extra" for the Amiga - it is often referred to as "the poor man's hard drive". However, in order to obtain the best results, you should buy some additional RAM (about £500-worth should do it) to boost the size of your RAD: (RAM-Drive) to 880Kb.

Then, copy your entire Workbench disk to RAD: every time you start your computer. With practice, you will be able to do this in under ten minutes. Thereafter, it should only take 30 seconds or so for Workbench to boot from RAD:.

I'm sure you will agree that this is a lot cheaper and easier than paying £400 for a 40Mb hard drive with 2Mb of memory.

Chip Shop

Dear Wally,

Could you please explain to me the following different kinds of memory - Chip, Fast, SIMMS and D-RAMs.

Yours, Exasperated of Exeter

Dear Exasperated

Chip - This type should be avoided as they are second-hand and usually have small chips out of the corner.

Fast - This is the best and fastest type of memory available.

SIMMS - This stands for Small In Memory Megabyte Sizes and is actually memory for an IBM PC.

D-RAMs - Again, this type should be avoided as it looks like the letter D and therefore does not fit into the oblong sockets inside the Amiga.

FFS or not FFS?

Dear Wally

Can you tell me, please, what FFS is.

Yours, Wondering of Wandsworth

Dear Wondering

Quite simply, FFS is the new fast file system from Commodore to replace the old file system (OFS). Under OFS, every file (i.e. program) was saved to disk under alphabetical order in a directory, itself under alphabetical order.

FFS cuts out the directory system, so everything gets filed under alphabetical order together. As there is only one alphabet file to find things in, it is therefore quicker.

Art Attack

Dear Wally

How do I achieve the best results using Deluxe Paint?

Yours, Artful of Artafallie

Dear Artful

Buy Deluxe Paint 4 and a few IFF slideshow public domain disks (both available from Wally Dug's PDL), load these pictures into DPaint and alter some of the pictures (e.g. change © Fred '91 to © Wally Dug '91), then save each picture.

It doesn't matter how small or embarrassing your problem may seem - I promise complete anonymity and professional standards of conduct.

Send your problems to Wally Dug's Problem Page, Up The Wally Close, Sauchiehall Street, Milngavie, G0 4IT, enclosing a cheque for £5.00. Please note that this is the same address for Wally Dug's PDL.

Remember - A problem shared is a problem no longer kept secret.

Copyright © Wally Dug Multimedia 1998